For my husband Dr Nafeez Ahmed
Below is a status I posted on my facebook for my dearest husband, on our 12th year marriage anniversary (25/10/12)…
People who know me well, know that I’m normally a private person, who tries to keep work and personal life separate, (as much as I could working in the community). Close friends would often tell me off for not, introducing Nafeez properly, or taking him with me to “high-level” networking type events. Often I was told, “I didn’t know you were married to Nafeez Ahmed!” In fact an MYH Trustee, whom I worked with for nearly four years, remarked in June “It was only recently I found out, (as a result of everything that happened at MYH), that you are married to the British Muslim who had a spat with Christopher Hitchens!”, “well yes”, I replied “our politics and professional work are so different ”. My Nafeez is a neo-Marxist academic (I think) and I’m well let’s just say more pragmatic than a radical.
But today is our 12th year anniversary of marriage and I’m breaking a long habit to come out of my protective bubble and wish Nafeez a happy 12th year anniversary in a very public way. Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed jaan, I cannot believe it is 12 years since we embarked on this journey together. There has been tears, sadness, crises but all of these have just made the laughter, wonderment, joy, amazement and happiness all that much sweeter and precious.
For me, for many reasons this anniversary is a special one, despite everything that has happened this year in such a public way. For what is not in the public domain is that my personal email and records were savagely intruded upon by a group of individuals over indulging in voyeurism to know the medical records of my immediate family, to know the finances of the family business, and to know, and this has been the thing that I have found hardest to grapple with over the last few months, intimate and personal details of our relationship that no other is privy to. And for this my darling Nafeez I am sorry. I am sorry that because of who I am, where I worked, the values I held close to my heart and the dream I believed in, that we were violated in this way, but most importantly I couldn’t be that garment for you the Qur’an refers to. The irony hasn’t escaped me that over the last few months, whilst I haven’t been able to protect your confidentiality, I have and still am protecting the confidentiality of this group of individuals.
So my darling hubby Happy Anniversary. Here’s to, a lifetime together in this world and an eternity together in the next!